beverley_anne

"The folks who know the truth aren't talking.

The ones who don't have a clue,
...you can't shut them up."

~Tom Waits~


it's so damned true that some people just can't help feeling guilty about it! i forwarded this to family and friends, and some of them will reply about how inspiring the messages are from Mountainwings... but this ONE person replied so differently, it's hilarious!!! maybe SHE got so sensitive that the message was pertaining to her (obviously guilty!). but i never thought she'd even react the way she did. i think the words hurt her ego so much, she just can't SHUT UP again. their minds are becoming so obsolete about what's happening in this god-forsaken world, it's a pity though. you don't know about the truth, that's why you just can't shut your mouth up!!! you can't accept your own faults that you just have to find a way to cover up for it. who has been calling people (esp. my parents) to say i'm getting married and that i said goodnight to a weirdo who harrassed me in your own house? you can't brag to my parents that i'm safe in your house, because i don't feel safe even when i'm with your family!!! i've been crying when that weirdo harrassed me and all you did was sit and stare on the TV, and worse, let that maniac sleep some more on the bedroom where i'm sleeping. if you're not an idiot in the first place, why'd you even let a man sleep in a bedroom where ladies are sleeping!!! it's f**kin' bullshit!!! those people who really know me won't believe any word you say, so don't expect my parents believing those lies you've been telling them. *smirking a laughter*

god knows the truth and in everything you did, you'll get something in return for that. believe in karma once in a while. it might do your life some good.

you're the reason why i can't wait to leave Dubai. but you can't stand the thought of me having a great time on my vacation that you just have to go home also and ruin it for me!!! you're probably scheming your next plans on how to sabotage my family and my life!!! i hope that when all of this is over, i'd wake up as if from a terrible nightmare and completely forget that i've ever been related to you. go to canada, migrate wherever you want, for all i care. the farther away, the better!!! i won't invite you even for my funeral.

whew, this is really a mad entry, sorry for that, guys. i just really had to get this out now!!! the next entries will be better. *fuming mad*

"And now i concede
On the night of this fifteenth song
Of melancholy, of melancholy
And in this next line
I’ll say it all over again
That i love you, i love you.

I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do
‘cause tonight i’ll leave my fears behind
‘cause tonight i’ll be right at your side.

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And i will never let go
Will never let go."

from the song:
Broken Sonnet
by: Hale

june 26: kacee and tita es went in my office and we had a wonderful lunch of pizza hut and KFC. it's my way of saying "thanks and bye" to them because they're leaving the next day for manila. they'll be waiting for kacee's exam results, if she passes it, then she'll be able to work as a nurse here in dubai. we had photos taken in my office, most of them with kacee trying out the water closets, bidets, and bath tubs that we have on display. i'll just post these ones which are not too funny and naughty. ; )

last month, we've been visiting tito eugene's house and i was quite amused with their marine aquarium, and i took photos and videos of these wonderful creatures. we also went to a pet store where i got a few more photos of the colorful fishes. i'm just utterly amused, esp. with the starfishes. =) i'm sorry though, because i don't know their names or species.



( dive some more... )

finally got the ticket for my vacation leave. yipee!!! i'll be flying with emirates on the 15th of july... i can't wait any longer. i'll be seeing my family and friends very soon. the more i think of philippines, the more i seem to forget the deadlines of my projects. lol. i don't know, but i just really can't concentrate at work anymore. =D though i was kinda pissed off that i got the 8:20 am flight instead of the 3:20 am, i'm feeling more excited than ever.

Daughters
by: John Mayer

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
She's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change

And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

( Oh, you see that skin... )

in a way, some things brought a lot of sense to me... hmmm...

all of us have heard this phrase at one moment of our life or another. i was reading an lj friend's journal this morning, and somehow these words got stuck on my mind... i realized i was not alone in my misery. most of my life, i've been quiet, but i just can't keep all the anger hidden anymore.

( this doesn't seem like me at all... )

good thing though, no matter how much you try to ruin my life, why is it that you don't seem to be succeeding? all the things you've been doing will come back to you, one way or another. so, stop disturbing my parents and solve your family problem first, before you even try getting into my life. after all the lies you said, you just showed how immature you really are. remove the mask, and show your real face, will you? i pity you.

( quizzes... )
from jullienne.

aoitenshi helped me prepare a to-do list for my 7 weeks vacation. being the OC that she is (she admitted), she's just way too much organized about these things than i am... let's just see, how much of the things on the list i'll be able to get done. that'll be the thrill!!!

Note: the italicized items are from julls, and the normal text are the ones i added on the list: =)

Our to-do list (so far):
- Hang out in each other's houses and around the village.
- Go out with the peeps here (erm, Mark? haha).
- Work out together, yaaargh. [this one's a real must!]
- Shop, go out for coffee.
- Nightout! With Aleq, and whoever. but i'd love to hang out with you and aleq, chaperone ako! lol.]
- Swim at least 2 hrs. everyday. it's the best exercise i've proved to be effective, so far.
- Check my friends' / relatives' schedules to make a more detailed list of whom i can go with and when. =)
- Go to malls and hangout with whoever's available. (most peeps will either be at work or school, that's why)
- If it's not yet too late, go to the beach! either boracay, batangas, pangasinan, or wherever. (hope summer's not all finished yet!)
- Spa / Sauna / Salon.
- Watch lots of movies!!!
- Pet shopping. I'm planning to start a marine aquarium and maybe buy a shih tzu. =)
- Stay overnight at a friend's house??? (any volunteers?)
- Gardening and baking when there's no other option but to stay home.
- Update my friendster!!! at last!
- Visit lots of places: Tagaytay, La Union and Baguio. places in other regions would also be nice, if possible.
- Meet hunny's family, of course.

Add these specifics:
- Bring Bevs to Lush.
- Let her know what a margarita tastes like.
- Teach Julls how to cook.
- Tour Bevs around Makati or anywhere else.
- Help her upgrade her home pc.
- Tell her the latest stuff in the philipines: fashion, books, make-up, etc. (coz i'm totally outdated!)

i'll add up a few more later... i'm still thinking what else to do when i get back home... ;)

June 7, 2005: Congratulations, tita apple, and tito boyet!!! it's kinda late after the news of confirmation, but i want you to know that i'm very happy for both of you. god bless and hope Harvey Nichols (cute name regardless of gender) will grow to be a kind and cute, healthy baby. =) just in right timing for my wedding day, he or she can be the flower girl or the ring bearer. ain't that cute??? yipeee!!!

hmmmm... it'll be a couple years more before that happens, i want a special wedding of my own and i want it well-planned and designed by me (with the groom, of course), and i won't let other people ruin those plans for me. oh, and to clear things up, i'm not getting married next week or next month, okay??? i don't want to hear any more rumors of me getting married this year, it's really funny, don't you think? that your parents hear about you getting married from other people, and it shocks you more than it shocks the hell out of them!!! it's really crazy... tsk. tsk. good thing my parents didn't have a heart attack. that perfect wedding is already in my dreams for now, and when i'm finally sure of the venue and date, i'll send you guys an invitation, okay???
just makes me wonder... when will i post a picture of me with my preggy tummy??? *grins* let's just wait and see... =)

my life's in a turmoil at the moment, and being it's father's day, i can't help but miss my father's warm embrace and kind words. tears had overwhelmed me no matter how i tried to keep it inside. how i wish i can run up to his arms again where i'll forever feel safe and loved. ='( i love you, pa. hope wou'll always remember that...

on my wedding day, i want to have a dance with my father with the song that always brings tears in my eyes.
( Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle )


here's also an article i've read on purpose driven life. i want to keep it here on my lj so i can read it back whenever i miss my dad.

( thinking about dad on father's day. )

sunset by the sharjah corniche


( fun, fun friday!!! yay!!! )
June 10, 2005: it was already 4am when i got to sleep after the party at le jardin and stopping by tito eugene's place to see their new-born baby Kathrine. i prepared chicken curry for lunch, and we all enjoyed it (me, tita mhy, tita apple, and tito boyet). then, we prepared to go for mass. it's been a while since i last attended a tagalog mass at St. Mary's.

after the mass, we headed for city center. i did some shopping at IKEA. i'm planning to redecorate my bedroom during my vacation so i got some stuffs. teehee!!! i'm excited! *grins* (hope my mom will allow me to paint on the walls. hah!) then, we had snacks at the food court, some chinese food, KFC, and BK. we also drove around dubai, passed by bur dubai, and karama, until we were heading back to sharjah, and we thought of stopping by the new landscaped corniche. good time to see the sunset as well. i was tired and sleepy after this weekend, but it was all worth the fun.

( in one with nature at le jardin )


sweet dreams...

June 9, 2005: tito rodge's birthday celebration at the le jardin restaurant of raddison hotel in sharjah. it was supposed to be a surprise party, but when he saw the long table with a reservation note on the table, he knew immediately that it was not only a dinner for three. not much to tell about that night... just eating, chatting with familiar faces, and more eating... lol. hmmm... though i have lots of photos because that's what we've been doing the whole night. *grins*

food was great, mostly seafoods... prawns, paella, hammour, seafood salads... yum. but i loved the variety of dessert on the buffet (i forgot to take a photo of that, though. *frowns*) the ambience of the place was nice, koi pond, natural trees on an inside setting... perfect to be with a special person for a date. haha!!! and since my uncle and his family gets to stay overnight in one of the luxury suites in the hotel (bigger than a 3-bedroom flat), tita apple and tito boyet stayed with us on the flat after we visited tita noemi's baby kathrine.

 
 
coffee, coffee, coffee...

May 20, 2005: tita apple and tito boyet came back from their UK trip. we fetched them from Etihad's coaster terminal in Sheikh Zayed at 12mn, then we headed to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in Jumeirah. i was still full from a heavy dinner, so i ordered a black forest cake with my coffee instead. it was heavenly!!! yum. yum. =)

sometimes, i can't understand why some "insensitive" people gain happiness from the misery they cause others... (yes, i'm being sarcastic in here!) i'm fuming mad!!!! no need to ellaborate the details in here, though.

but like an answered prayer, i've read these "words of advice" from mountainwings.com, and somehow i felt like the words wanted to punch me in the face so i can realize how "martyr" i've been for so long... letting people push me around as if i owe them my entire life. i owe my life to my parents, and God (of course), and that's all there is to it! it's not being "ungrateful", but if helping others is sincere from your heart, why are you bringing them down by reminding them how much you've helped them??? and you feel as if you're so great that you can misjudge other people and you feel wonderful about putting a person's integrity down. how pathetic!!! it doesn't even make you sound humble! seeing other people suffer entertains you. and i guess, i won't be able to understand your egoistic reasons no matter how i try, because you feel as if you're superior from anyone else. sooner or later, you'll realize that you're nothing different from all the other humans that God created.

does it make any sense? even i don't understand anymore. someone enlighten me, please... i said these things to calm myself down... it gives relief just to blurt the words of anger out. i don't get mad that long, and i can't. i'll be back to normal in a few hours or so... i just want to let this anger out because i don't want them to be in control of me anymore. i'm tired and stressed with nonsense. i might as well plan for my vacation and enjoy those days of fun with family and friends. now that i've thought of those people who are always happy for me, i'm feeling better and excited again. (hope i don't sound like i need to go to an institution yet? *grins*)

Lesson 1:
Never argue with an idiot.
They will drag you down to their level
and beat you with experience.

Lesson 2:
He who angers you
...controls you.

last night was great! i really had fun. i left the office at 7pm, Silveira (my officemate) dropped me over to Deira City Center. Tita Apple and her friend Nawal(filipina-converted-muslim), and my mug of bottomless iced tea were waiting for me at Chili's, then the insanity began. if ria finds me too chatty already, wait till she meets Nawal or Tita Apple. lol. =D we were like crazy school girls who have no care in the world as long as we were having fun. we had grilled chicken caesar salad, a countryside chicken platter with corn cob, fries and baked potatoes. yum. yum. =P

after a long chat during dinner, we stopped by red earth & got myself my fave lipstick. then, we got a taxi and went to Marks and Spencer for a little shopping, bought some gifts for my mom and aunts back home. we also strolled around Al Reef Mall till it was closing time. i guess i'm shopping a little bit early if i'm leaving on july, but i want everything ready early because i have to send them ahead via air freight. i'm expecting at least 80 kilos of baggage to take home next month, mainly composed of my dolphin collection, design/arts magazines, and such stuffs, so it'll be kinda heavy and bulky if i'll carry them all with me on my flight.

tito boyet came and pick us up at the mall, then they drove me home to sharjah with nawal as well. we watched the episode of "bachelorette" till midnight and they had to go home. hope this day will happen again, soon.

and so, today, i confirm... july 15 - september 6 as my "dubai-free problem-free" holidays!!! =D you'll never imagine just how thrilled i am. ;)

yipee!!! yipee!!! i'm going out with tita apple and her friend nawal tonight. she's supposed to be family but i can't believe we had to ask too much permission just so she can take me out with her to the mall. hmmm... that's a part of another long story i can't discuss here, friends... heh!

i'm excited, and that's all there is to it!!! *grins* we're planning to have dinner at Al Ghurair City, then visit Al Reef Mall and Marks & Spencer for a "little" shopping!!! (i hope!) i need to start buying things to take home for my family and friends, anyway. 1 more month of anguish at the office and i'm off... i'll probably run towards my plane on the runway, yeah, i'm that excited to go back home to the philippines. i need to get away from dubai for a while. ;)

this kind of things happen very rarely for me, going out with friends in dubai, so, don't wonder why i got so excited by a mere night at the mall. i'm happy because i'm with my friends, that's why! no words need more be said. =D

june to august will be busy months. i need to start a schedule for my vacation. and meet friends before i leave. (yes, that's you, ria!!!)